Reflecting on the Year of 2017

A Year in Review

Happy New Year! 

I always enjoy reflecting on the previous year when January rolls around and 2017 was a big year for me. It was highly eventful and began the first year of my marriage. Woah! As I sit here in the Wired Monk, a small cafe in downtown Halifax, I am filled with gratitude for the people in my life and the events of the past year. I feel truly blessed. In acknowledging that, I must also mention some of the challenges I experienced this past year as well as important realizations that I made about myself, my partner and our journeys.

One important exercise that I like to do when journalling is list off what I'm grateful for. I find it most important to do this when what I really want to do is the exact opposite. I tend to use journalling as a channel for releasing some of my own anxiety and emotions. My journal entries typically start off with me expressing my upset over something a loved one said or a current stressful situation that I'm dealing with; however, I think it is important in this post to remind myself of some of the things that I am appreciative for in the year 2018. So here goes...

• I am grateful for my family, and the close bond that we share. I am truly blessed to be incredibly close with my mother, father and sister. I just throughly enjoy their company and value their opinions and advice in my life. They are good people and I realize that I am truly lucky to say that.
• I am grateful for my hard-working husband. Gosh is he ever hardworking! The man is working three jobs right now and he never stops! I am both amazed and concerned for his well-being. Despite it all, he even manages to come out to Saskatchewan in the dead of winter to spend time with his wife's gigantic Canadian farm family. What a champ! He is truly a remarkable human and I am very proud to be his wife.
• I am grateful for my sobriety. I am grateful for the sober community that I am a part of and the work that I continue to do on my own growth and development in sobriety. There are some amazing people in my life that have been gifted to me through sobriety and this year made that incredibly clear to me. 
• I am grateful for my connection with God and how He has done wonders in my life. Having faith in a power greater than myself has carried me through a lot in this life and it is such a comfort and source of strength for me, knowing that God is with me always.
• I am grateful for my job and the fact that I was born an English speaker in Canada and it has offered me the opportunity to teach Conversation English at a University in Seoul. This job is truly amazing and I am able to spend a month in Canada with my family over the holidays because of it. It also allows me the freedom and extra time to pursue other passions in my life like blogging!
• I am grateful for my cat Buddy, who I will miss dearly when I go back to Seoul. This will then of course, lead to me begging Jin for the hundredth(?)  time to get a cat! Gosh I truly believe that animal therapy is one of the best kinds of therapies and Buddy is a pretty awesome ginger cat-dog (he acts more like a dog than a cat).
• I am grateful for the fact that I have two countries that I call home and they are both enchanting and wonderful in their own ways. It is important for me to acknowledge this because it is so much easier for me to miss Korea when I'm in Canada and vice versa instead of stopping to appreciate the fact that I have two amazing homes to miss. How lucky is that?!
• I am grateful that Jin and I are so cherished by our families and friends that they wanted to celebrate our marriage 4 times this past year. I have felt completely welcomed into Jin's family and they are such kind and loving people. Even though we do not speak the same language, I feel truly loved and accepted by my Korean in-laws which is amazing.
• I am also grateful that our wedding celebrations are over and we can get back to reality. This might seem strange but having 4 celebrations in one year was a lot. For someone who did not even plan to have a wedding in the first place, 4 wedding celebrations was just a tad bit excessive. What I can say as a result of it all is that I am definitely married. ha!

The list could go on...but at this very moment, those are the blessings in my life that stick out the most for me. And, as expected, it feels pretty awesome reminding myself of them.

Challenges & Events

2017 was a year of major growth and change for me. There were quite a few difficult experiences that led to mostly positive growth and I'd like to reflect on them so as to acknowledge some of the milestones I achieved and to also try and prevent history from repeating itself (the bad history that is). 

At the beginning of the year I was living in a very old and moldy apartment in Gangnam. We had been struggling to get out of our lease because of how bad the black mold had spread on the walls and ceiling around our bed, but the landlady was making that just about impossible. In Korea, apparently black mold is not cause enough to make an apartment a health hazard and therefore unliveable. I don't know why this is but it is something to be wary of if you ever plan on living there. We also had a mosquito infestation that was so bad we slept with a mosquito net around our bed. I had also gotten pretty sick by the end of 2016 because of all the stress I was under feeling so uncomfortable in my own home.  Starting off the year, we knew we had to get out of our lease and start fresh. After battling it out with our landlady which included multiple recorded phone conversations and begging to be let out of the lease repeatedly (all of this done in Korean by Jin of course), we were finally able to move in March.  We moved into the very first apartment in Seoul that I am truly proud to call home. Even though it is very small (almost shoebox size!), it has a gigantic window with a view that stretches to the mountains and a loft bedroom so that our bed is separated from our living space. We clearly had to go through a horrible living experience in order to truly appreciate our new home. 

Our beautiful big window: My Happy Place.

I also decided to take advantage of the amazing and super cheap Oriental Medicine that Seoul has to offer in order to deal with some of the health issues that I was facing. I went to see an Oriental Doctor and shortly thereafter, started following a diet prescribed to me based on my body type. I will paste a link that describes the different body types and a bit more about the science behind them. My body type is called Pulmotonia and when this was described to me I was pretty amazed with the accuracy of how well it resigned with me. This led me to stop eating meat entirely and trying my best to abstain from wheat and dairy. Although difficult, it led to my health improving dramatically and I was finally confident enough to go off the prescription medicine that I was taking which helped immensely as well. I will write more on my experience with this to come.

(Learn more about the 8 different body types here: http://ecmed.org/board/content.asp?bsNo=17 ).

At the beginning of April my school was shut down by immigration and many of my Canadian and American coworkers were deported, given unjust Criminal Records in Korea and a one year ban from entering the country. This entire situation was horrifying and completely unfair and unethical. It also created a total sense of unease and mistrust at work for me. I had gone from working in an environment where I felt passionate and supported by my coworkers to an unstable place where I felt suspicious of management and paranoid about my own security living abroad. It soon came to light that the school was operating without a legal license and had employed teachers on the wrong teaching VISAs which Immigration was also responsible for initially validating but of course, neither the school nor immigration were willing to take proper accountability for their actions. Ugh. Although this situation was extremely anxiety ridden for me, it was what ultimately pushed Jin and I to make the decision to get married. Yet again, with hardships and challenges there is always a silver lining. 

happy.

After Jin and I got married he got accepted into a Masters in IT Management Program at KAIST University. This came as a complete surprise because I was not even aware that he had applied for the program. When we met (4.5 years ago), he was studying to do his MBA in the United States. That was his dream and from the beginning of our relationship his hobbies included studying, studying and more studying. He had written his GMAT several times and still was not obtaining the score that he desired. I had told him multiple times that he might want to try another path but he was quite adamant on this being the path for him. Eventually, I wore him down and he started opening up to other possibilities for potential programs and schools in Canada. In the spring we had finally started to look at other options for possible programs that did not include a GMAT score in the application process and it became clear to me that he was really interested in the IT field. One day he broached the subject of applying to a school in Korea for an IT program as a "test round" to practise the whole university application process. This was how he worded it to me. I was shocked by this suggestion and reacted by completely shutting the idea down, stating that if he wanted to try the application process, why not just go for it and apply to schools in Canada and the USA? I obviously missed the mark on this because it became clear to me that he was actually interested in going to school in Korea. So when the news of his admission to Kaist came about, I was entirely shocked. My family was as well because they were very much enthused about him pursuing an education in North America and us being closer to home. With this sudden change of plans came a lot of hurt and mixed feelings. It was the first time (I think) where Jin realized that big life decisions like this one would be impacting another person(s) in his life: me (and my family). 

Even though I felt hurt and frustrated that my husband made such a big move behind my back, I knew deep down that he had to accept this school's offer. When I listened to him describe it to me and read about it more, it truly did seem like the right fit for him. I saw how excited he was about IT Management and the possibilities that this career change would bring for him. So he decided to send in his acceptance and started school in the fall, and we committed to another two years in Seoul. I have since come to learn of how world renouned KAIST is, which of course makes me a very proud wife! 

Shortly after this decision was made, I met someone in my sober community who was leaving a very cushy University job. She asked me if I was interested in taking over her position in August and I laughed her off saying, "I  am so NOT qualified for that at all!" She began to explain to me that actually, I was. Amazingly, with her help, I got the job. This further cemented the confidence I felt about our decision to stay in Seoul. So as my husband headed back to university as a part-time student in the fall, I headed to university as well for an exciting new job as an ESL Instructor. Yet another example of how, with hardship, comes growth and opportunity. 

Shortly after starting school, we had our Korean wedding. This was a stressful time for us because it was all organized at the very last minute. Which is typical of my husband. More on that in a previous blog post, so I will not get into it but despite the chaos and stress leading up to the event it was truly a magical day that I'll never forget. Thanks again hubby.💕

Our Family.

Our Korean Wedding.

Our Friends

The next big event of the year happened in November when I received a call from my husband at work during the day. This was strange, as we typically message throughout the day but rarely call each other because we can chat when we get home about anything important that happened that day. I had only received a call from him once several weeks before and that was to request my permission to change our wedding venue just 7 days before the event (I wasn't even surprised at the time). I knew this would be something big. What came next was his announcement to me that he had found a cafe that he'd like to buy and it had already been sold so he needed to make a decision on it FAST (as in yesterday!).

Now let me explain why I was not completely taken a back by this announcement. Jin had been talking about opening up a cafe for a few years now, and we had even explored it a bit as a joint project for us to potentially take on together this past summer. Ever since I've met him, he has wanted to get out his office job and start his own business venture. His ambitious and entrepreneurial spirit is something that drew me to him from the start. He has never been attracted to the 'normal' life, whatever that is! So I knew he had an interest (among many others; it's hard to keep track of them all!) in the cafe business. Second of all, I am sure that upon reading through the events of the last year, you have come to understand that it takes a lot to surprise me at this point when it comes to my husband's next big plan. 

I agreed to come to the cafe that evening and check it out with him so that he could get my opinion on this potential new business venture. Although I was a little overwhelmed with the idea, I have to admit that it also excited me. When I saw the cafe, I was instantly smitten. It was in the exact location that he wanted and we could just see so much potential. I knew this would mean him overextending himself with work when he was already in deep with school and his job, but it still felt so right. So he went through with the purchase and dove head first into his new investment. I had to come to terms with the fact that life would be stressful for the next while living with a man who was over exhausted from all of his work and projects. Thank God for my sobriety and spirituality, as well as great friends and an amazing job. My winter was spent leaning on these aspects of my life while trying to support my over extended husband. I guess the realization I made was, how can I resist supporting a man who is passionate about his dreams and wants to pursue them. 

By the middle of December, Jin was exhausted and I was also feeling pretty drained. I was just dying for my winter vacation to start and for me to come home to Canada and take a rest with family and friends. I also knew that the trip to Canada would involve another wedding celebration and a belated bridal shower so it would not all be quiet and relaxation. Jin and I were both so tired and I could feel my immune system weakening. We discussed how things needed to change and he made a decision to apply for a leave of absence from work in January in order to eventually put all his time and energy into his studies and the new cafe. This seemed like a good plan and I was hopeful that things would settle down a bit in the new year and I could spend more quality time with a husband who was pursuing work that he truly cared about. Soon after this, a new challenge ensued.

Jin's counterparts at work must have been picking up on his lack of motivation at the office, which led to a conversation with his team leader right before I began preparing for my trip to Ottawa. We sat down one evening and he proceeded to tell me about the conversation. Basically, upon Jin inferring a possible application for leave, his team leader steered the conversation in an entirely new direction. He relayed to him that their affiliated company Bobcat Construction was looking for a new member on the Innovations Team. He knew of Jin's program and some previous work that he had done surrounding Big Data and Change Management in the company and so was able to pick up on Jin's interest in this department. The other aspect to this company was the fact that it originates in the United States and has offices there. This could mean the possibility of an international job transfer in the future?! How could he resist? So much for taking a leave of absence from work....

Our time together in Canada was wonderful and spent with family. Our Canadian wedding could not have gone off more smoothly thanks to my mother and an amazing wedding planner. We felt truly grateful to be so celebrated by our family. Jin has been given the full welcome into my large Saskatchewanian family, there's no backing out now! Despite the obvious physical differences, he seemed to fit right in! As he mentioned in his toast to my parents, he is there to bring a little diversity to the group! hehe.

                                           

the happy groom

toasting away!

                 

My parents laughing hysterically at my sister's toast to the bride.

My cousins Xavier and Halla with Jin and me.

Grandma Elaine

The adorable Hollis, my cousin Sherri's son.

Auntie Cynthia & me.

Maid of Honour and me

Starting off 2018

This new job for Jin has presented us with both excitement and impending stress. At this point in time, he has landed the new job and will be beginning it at the end of January. I am mentally preparing myself for the stress that he will be under, while we are also very excited for the possibilities and learning opportunities that it entails. And so, here I am, starting off the new year with a very very busy husband. On the other hand, we are blessed to be stressed about these exciting prospects and new business ventures. I know that I will continue to lean heavily on my sober community and connection to God going forth but I am also excited for what this year will bring! 

Some other challenges I faced throughout the year were battles with my health. What became very clear to me was the connection between my mind and my body. The times where I dealt with any kind of infection, illness or health complication were the times when I was extremely stressed and soaking up the stress of those around me (in particular, my husband). These times were in the fall before our wedding, and in the winter before I came home. What I have learned from this is how important it is to set healthy boundaries in my life, listen to my body and maintain my spiritual and mental health.

2017 was an amazing and highly eventful year for me. It solidified and celebrated my relationship to an ambitious, exhilarating and passionate man. It also brought about big and exciting changes for me in my diet, my career and my creative pursuits (i.e. blogging). It was a year where I became more involved and engaged in my community here in Seoul. My first year back in Seoul (2016) was quite isolating. As a sober person, I found it hard to make friends whom I had common interests with and to be honest, I was just so lazy about putting myself out there. Making friends and socializing is just not the same as it was in high school and university, especially when alcohol is taken out of the equation! 

This was a year where I got involved in my sober community through service and action. I made real friendships that I know will last a lifetime and I began to plant some roots. That is probably the biggest achievement I am taking with me into the new year.  I remember last year, when I came home for Christmas, I was having a lot of difficulty motivating myself to go back to Korea. I just felt like Jin was the only person I had there and I had an entire 27 years' worth of family and friends to fall back on in Canada. It feels wonderful for me to acknowledge that I am in a completely different head space about going back to Seoul today. I actually miss my home, my happy place in front of my giant apartment window, my extremely busy hubby, our new cafe that will be opening next week (yay!) and the community of friends and my relationships with them that I hold close to my heart. 

I hope that 2018 is a year of manifesting more positive and deep relationships in my life as well as one where I can continue to explore a more wholistic lifestyle. 

If you have read this far, thank you!! This post was a long one, you're a trooper. 😊