Life: A Series of Transitions

On March 1st I was in my hometown of Ottawa, Canada, finishing up an intensive coaching course with a group of new found close friends.

On March 2nd I was on a flight across the world to Seoul, South Korea.

On March 3rd I was home in Seoul and preparing for my first day of the new semester at work.

My life over the past 6 years has encompassed a series of transitions between countries, homes and jobs. I moved to Seoul in 2013 when I was 23 years old for an adventure. Over the past 6 years I have lived in both Canada and South Korea and I have backpacked throughout South East Asia, parts of Europe and the USA. I have worked at 6 different jobs and moved into 8 different homes. I also got sober in 2015, making another major shift in my life.

For someone who was raised in a very stable home, you would think that I might be attracted to stability. My twenties have demonstrated the opposite of that in many ways. 

I am yet again preparing for another big move back to Canada in the next 6 months and so this time resettling back into life in Seoul has been less than easy. I was in Canada for 6 weeks, most of which were spent in Ottawa, and I put a lot of energy into reestablishing community for myself in preparation for my move there this Fall.

Coming back to Seoul and starting my last semester at the University that I work at felt a little bit backwards. I know that change is hard for most of us, but for me I think I struggle more with the opposite: things staying the same. At the same time, I have been craving settling down and this move back to Canada feels a bit less temporary than my moves in the past. 

I have always been a bit of a wanderer. Even as a child my mother would lose track of me in public places and sometimes have to page me on the sound system to be retrieved at the front of the store. I tend to get restless when I am somewhere for too long and so that restlessness has guided a lot of the big decisions that I have made in my twenties. What I have learned in sobriety though is that wherever you go, there you'll be. You cannot escape yourself and your feelings. And coming to terms with that notion may be why I am finally starting to crave a little bit more stability. 

I am grateful that I have solid family and friends who have offered me a sense of emotional stability amidst my forever exploring nature. I also hope to share my experience with others, especially those who tend to wander, so that they can understand that home is wherever they are. And try to find some solace in that. I am working on that everyday.

Some tips for adjusting into another transition are:

• Give yourself time: everyone has their own speed at which they adapt to new or familiar circumstances. Have patience with yourself. Things will fall into place and you will start to feel more at ease over time. It may take more time for you than others, try not to compare your journey to theirs.

• There is no perfect way: everyone adapts to change differently. Your process may look totally opposite from your friends. There is no right way to transition into anything and so be easy on yourself. If you need more space than others, that's totally OK. Practice acceptance.

• Communicate your needs: to those you love. For me, a certain degree of space is required when I am settling back into my life in Seoul. It is important that I let my partner know that I need space and that it is simply about my own readjustment. If you need something to help you transition, reach out and ask for it. The worst that can happen is that your request is declined. If that is the case, then at least now you know and you can navigate what to do from there.