release

 verb (1)

1: to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude

2: to relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses

3: to give up in favor of another : RELINQUISH

My word of the year is Release. At the end of 2021, I was confronted with some realizations about how I have been holding onto plans, ideas, and relationships that are simply not serving me anymore. They have also been creating barriers between me and my partner, preventing me from opening myself up fully to co creating a future together that represents both of our interests and values. 

2021 was a huge year for me. I had chosen the word Thrive and it truly encapsulated how my year went. With two promotions, a new home, and a new relationship; I truly flourished. I was also exhausted by the end of the year, and felt like it was time to slow down.

There were also aspects of this fast forward-moving momentum that had some negative consequences on my life and relationships. I placed a lot of pressure on my partner and our relationship, wanting it to be moving at warp speed. I took little time off, and spent a lot of time and energy comparing myself to others, and their lives. This game of self-comparison never lead to anything good. I consistently felt as though I was always two to three steps behind in life. Apart from all of my outward successes, my year of thriving played into my tendency to 'next' everything in life, while taking little time to pause and be present to all that was going on around me. I barely took time to stop and celebrate my wins, and instead I kept pushing forward, working towards the next goal. 

This year, I am ready to release that way of being. I want to practise gratitude more and do my best to stay present. And so I hope to relieve myself and my loved ones from the confines of my expectations around how our lives should play out. I hope to get better at practising compromise and letting go gracefully. Career wise, I hope to do work that gives me purpose, that allows for me to be of service to others and encourages me to be present.

Going into my seventh year of sobriety, I am reminded of Step One: surrendering. The amount of blessings that poured into my life when I finally surrendered to the fact that I was powerless over alcohol was unimaginable. When I was able to release myself from the hold that alcohol and substances had over my life, I could finally make way for true healing to begin. I have been shown many times, the power of letting go, being present to accepting what is.

So for the year ahead, I plan to take more time to pause, breathe and release. Hoping that this brings me more presence, gratitude and wonder.  

Wishing everyone a beautiful 2022.