The American Divide

Well it's been a while...

Writing has gotten away from me, as life has been very busy and full. The summer was hectic and draining. The project I was working on was extremely demanding which meant long work days and nights and weekends catching up on sleep and time with my family and friends. It was our first summer in our new home though which was spent having bbq dinners on the deck, hosting friends and family, pushing Jacob on the swings in the backyard and playing, lots of playing.

Upon completing my client project, our family travelled to South Korea to spend 3 weeks with my husband's family. It was a wonderful reunion, we spent so much quality time together, celebrating Jacob, Yeorum and my mother in law's birthdays and watching Jacob learn more and more Korean and become closely bonded with his Korean family. Beautiful memories were made.

Life has been full in many good ways, which has kept me from sitting still at my computer and writing.

We did receive the devastating news of the US election results while away on our trip and it felt like a disturbing version of deja vu for me because I lived in Korea in 2016 when Trump was first elected into office. I will admit though that in 2016, I was shocked by the news, it almost felt surreal. But this time around, I didn't feel shock. I did however feel grief and heartache for so many American women and people of colour. For whatever the future holds in the USA for the next 4 years. I have family members and friends in the States, and I just hope they know that they are worthy of love, respect and full autonomy despite a government that tells them differently. 

I listened to a podcast this afternoon where the hosts discussed the divide in America based on political alignment. They disagreed, with the male host holding the belief that we should try to stay connected and understanding towards those who vote for the other party, and the female host feeling differently. I felt myself getting more and more angry at the male host for his inability to acknowledge his position of privilege, in that for him it might not feel as threatening to befriend someone who voted differently from him because as a white man, both presidents do not present as a threat to his basic human rights.

I do feel that it is important to be curious about and open to understanding multiple perspectives and value systems. That in order for us to live together in society, we require diversity and difference in opinion and beliefs. I spent three weeks with my in laws who are devout Christians, and we prayed at every meal, and went to church every Sunday together. I do not identify as Christian, and as a white Canadian woman, I have some strong feelings of resentment and shame towards the dark history of Christianity in Canada and the destruction it caused on our indigenous people in particular. I do not share in many of the beliefs that are held in the Christian church. However, I know and experience my family in law to be good, kind, generous and loving people. And I can see how their faith has brought them hope, strength and guidance in their life. I can accept and hold space for both things to be true. And I think it is important for myself, and my son to be exposed to different belief systems than the one his mother holds, so as to understand that one is not necessarily better than the other or more true. 

The issue though with the USA at this point, is that the divide between the Republican and Democratic political parties has become too wide. What the vote for Donald Trump now symbolizes, is just too unbearable for people of colour, trans people. and women to simply ignore in the name of wanting to stay connected and accepting of each other. Because it becomes a form of self betrayal. The United States in now being run by a criminal, deemed guilty awaiting sentencing, a sexual predator, racist, mysogynist who believes in his core that women should not be entitled to the same level of basic health care as men, and that people of colour should not share the same basic human rights as their white counterparts. 

Although I do believe that there are very few things in life that are completely binary in nature, and I do not subscribe to a world view that separates us all based on our political beliefs, as a woman and mother, I completely understand why people are feeling as divided as they do right now in the USA. I also understand why someone might choose not to break bread with another person that voted against their basic human rights. That makes complete sense to me.

I am sending love to my American friends and family who are grieving and feeling unsafe and uncertain during this time. Know that you are welcome to come stay in Canada for a little while, or maybe the next four years...